Asheville H3

Hash Trash from Trail #19

So who was there?

Started the trail:

Mt. Hee (hare), NFN Jerud (hare), Wet suits me, Dirty Sanchez (Macon, GA), NFN Jason, NFN Jennifer, NFN Jon, NFN Linsey, NFN Dan, NFN Tamrin

Finished the trail:

Mt. Hee (hare), NFN Jerud (hare), Top Cum, Dirty Sanchez, NFN Linsey, NFN Jon, NFN Dan

Honorable mentions:

NFN Jason – A teetotalling wanker who actually made it to the beer check but claimed to have something to do which was more important than finishing the trail.  As if!

NFN Jon (or was it Dan?) – This SOB was actually within spitting distance of the beer check but succumbed to psychological warfare when he decided the train tracks were too easy to be on-trail and went back into the woods for more of the good stuff!

AVL H3 Trail #19 Hash Trash 

The unsuspecting wankers who turned up at Richmond Hill park were unaware of the carnage which awaited them.  After the painstakingly drawn chalk talk was driven over repeatedly, the hares were hastily blessed and disappeared into the man-eating brush.  Of the 8 hounds who followed suit 15 minutes later, only 2 survived the nonstop gullies, poison ivy, briars, and runaway freight trains to emerge at the beer check.  It was 1.8 miles of straight-up shiggy (brought to you by Sanchez’s reprehensible use of fangled technology), with a death-defying stretch of railroad running at the end.  Once the FRBs (Dirty Sanchez & NFN Jason) and the hares had consumed all the beer they got curious about the rest of the pack and Mt. Hee went off looking for them.  Top Cum turned up late and found some of the pack in the parking lot, setting up IV drips and applying tourniquets.  NFN Tamrin (who will be named ‘anally impaled’ if she ever shows up again) had been mortally wounded after finding the business end of a sharp stick with an unfortunate section of anatomy.  Others chewed their way to freedom after ending up as marionettes in the briar vines.  A couple fools were actually persuaded to rejoin the trail and continue, so after a 1.5 hour beer check (!), the inebriated hares took off, this time on an actual trail (mostly).  The pack gave chase and was relieved to find some proper checks and proper bad trails, but soon discovered a YBF leading to more shiggy.  Being totally indifferent to pain at this point, they persevered through a checkback, and came shockingly close to catching the hares in their secluded fortress of rock, which was unforgivably devoid of beer for no good reason.  In an unprecedented display of mercy, the pack withheld their wrath until the beer could be found and a circle formed, and the hares took their down-downs as they ought.  The hash gods smiled upon the circle for their intrepid disregard of personal safety and rewarded the group by sending a friendly disc golfer who offloaded a free camouflage cooler he had found in the woods, still holding booze!  Only Mt. Hee knows for sure what else it contained.

Until next time... On-on ---///--->

NFN Jerud